New hair.

I got blue and purple highlights in my hair today. :)

My dog is just so gosh-darn cute.

What I wore today.

Purple cardigan (Forever 21), gray v-neck front-pocket t-shirt (Pretty Good), black skinny jeans (Forever 21), oxfords (Wanted).

Things I need, holiday edition.

 

This is ingenious. Coffee ice cubes? I love iced coffee. This only adds more coffee flavor! Plus they are in the shape of little coffee beans! Genius!

 

Swizzle sticks for all of the alcohol that I drink! Nah, just kidding. I just want to use these in my Coke or my juice (sans alcohol) because they make me look fancy. And the little skulls are supah-keyoot.

 

I'm not sure exactly what this, but it looks like a stand for sticking things like note cards and photos and stuff in it. I like things that are functional but also a little bit useless.

 

I know that this is a necklace tree. It's just cute.

 

I'm a sucker for stuff with Sailor Jerry traditional tattoos emblazoned on it. I really hate Ed Hardy shit, though. I'm not talking about tattoo prints like Ed Hardy stuff. I'm talking about good old traditional hearts & skulls. These shot glasses are adorable.

 

So that Ben doesn't feel left out: Swizzle sticks for his juice, too! How awesome is that? 

 

I love wall mirrors. The shapes are so cool and they just look very pretty and artsy.

 

This needs to be around my neck right now.

 

A book about how to make mermaid cupcakes. When I was 3, The Little Mermaid was my FAVORITE movie (and it's still my favorite Disney movie, next to Aladdin).

 

I just thought that this coral figurine was pretty neat. You know, because I like to collect knicknacks (well, in my mind's eye I do, because ONE DAY I will have a place where I can proudly display all of my kitchsy shit).

Yeah, this is a basin. So what? A girl needs a basin of water on her vanity for freshening up, right?

 

Robot Christmas ornaments for my fake black Christmas tree. :)

 

A fancy little chandelier would add some sparkle to my dining room, don't you think?

 

...So I can make sure that my Christmas cookies are only SLIGHTLY burned instead of totally destroyed.

 

I only have about four pairs of earrings. I don't really need an earring tree, but I just want to be fancy.

 

This is so weird & awesome that I just have to have it. I don't care if only 10 of my utensils will fit in it.

 

Who doesn't love hand-knitted Christmas ornaments?

 

I'm afraid of the dark. I need this nightlight. :]

 

I'm obsessed with vintage engravings and this style of drawing. These would be really cool as Christmas tree ornaments as well as for decoration year-round. You could hang some on your rear-view mirror or on curtain rods or door knobs!

 

Super pretty mermaid ornaments. My love for mermaids and mythical sea creatures (as well as real sea creatures) will never die.

 

GOOD GOD THESE ARE CUTE AS SHIT.

 

These are beautiful. They remind me of my grandmother's Christmas tree ornaments.

 

Lawl, giraffes. 

 

Astronaut ornaments = way too fucking cute. These also remind me of my grandma's old Christmas tree ornaments, and those were handed down to her through generations. I love the vintage look of these cheerful little space dudes.

 

Oh my god. How awesome are these? Shit, y'all. Wish I'd started decorating for Christmas sooner! I normally don't give a crap about Christmas decorations, but these make me actually feel a little Christmas-y. Finally, Christmas decorations that I can totally get behind. 

That's all for this week, folks! Stay tuned for more shameless strange crap that I need next week! Sorry for all of the Christmas tree ornaments...I don't know what's gotten into me in the last few weeks.

I don't like people.

I get weird around people. I make plans and break them. Usually I end up hiding in bed instead of going out. I don’t know why I am so anxious. I’m barely threading everything together—so spiderweb thin and delicate. Everyday I wake up and I’m already anxious about the day before I get out of bed. The room is cold and I am lying next to a warm, living, breathing, pulsating person, far away in another dream that has nothing to do with this life. I would rather stay here than drag myself through the day. I would rather be alone than spend time with anyone almost all of the time. And other days, suddenly, without warning, the thought of being by myself and alone in my rabbit hole makes my skin crawl with feeling. And instead of being anxious about leaving, I am anxious about staying put. I want to be everywhere at once and experience everything. The depression sets in when I realize that I can’t do so, so I imagine a better life for myself, for us, until I fall back asleep.

Snow is shitty and I hate wintertime.

Time to reprise an old favorite of mine!

I hate snow. snow is cold, and it sucks. I hate the cold, therefore I hate snow and by default, cold sucks. Skinny, weak nerds like myself should not have to live in cold climates. What pisses me off is when a lot of people are all like, "Oh, I like snow, it's pretty." YEAH, BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO TOUCH IT. Or walk in it. A lot of things look pretty, but then when you touch them or walk on them, it sucks ass.

When it's cold outside, and you still have to go to work and run errands because the whole world does not just shut down because it's cold (it really should), the cold stings your face and makes you wish that you could die on the spot. Cold is painful. Then the shitty ass ice gets all over the road and when I drive over it, the car freaks out. I can hear the argument in your mind as you are reading this:

"But Caitlin, you are so awesome that you don't even have to drive your car, you can just teleport everywhere or fly your plane, so why bother driving the magnum in winter weather?"

This is a valid argument, but obviously, there is nowhere to park my plane on campus. Wright-Patt gets pissed off at me if I park it on one of their landing strips illegally. And if I teleport anywhere in the wintertime, particles of my body might accidentally freeze or something and then I will end up looking like an idiot.

 I also hate wearing fifty million layers of clothing. IT IS NOT CUTE. I refuse to wear UGG boots. I refuse to wear a puffy winter coat. It is totally not sexy. Normally, I prefer to wear a bathing suit and high heels everywhere I go, and you cannot do that in the wintertime, unless you want your boobs to freeze & break off. I really don't want my boobs to break off, because mine have done okay by me so far.

Anyway, spring weather needs to be here RIGHT NOW. If you don't agree with me, you need to check your chromosome count and put the UGG boots back in the closet.

Love,
Caitlin

Clusterfuck.

I don’t like throwing up. I don’t like birds. I don’t like clusters. I don’t like crowds, and I REALLY, REALLY don’t like clowns. ever since I was a kid, I have had a few phobias: emetophobia (the fear of vomit and/or throwing up), ornithophobia (the fear of birds — which I’ve already dedicated a post to), trypophobia (the fear of holes and clusters), enochlophobia (fear of crowds) and coulrophobia (the fear of clowns). My fear of clowns stems from my childhood, when I was three years old and really sick with the whooping cough AND throwing up at night (which is probably why I’m afraid of throwing up), and my mom bought me a nightlight shaped like a clown. The clown sold cheerfully bright balloons for ten cents each, with his equally cheerfully bright sidekick dog for a companion.

My parents still have the lamp somewhere, in hopes that I will someday use it for my nonexistent children, but I am so traumatized by this lamp that I will not even go near it and would never, should I ever accidentally have them, expose my children to the horror of this nighttime debacle. Most people would probably take a look at this lamp and go, “Aww, how cute, look at the little clown and the dog. How can you be scared of this?” but it is very deceiving when it is not lit up. When it is all lit up, it looks like the gates of hell.

 A few years later, my mom took me to the local Belmont Parade that was held every summer. I remember that there were a pair of clowns on stilts, and as they walked around the parade, bringing merriment and joy to the parade revelers, I would chart their paths and quickly move to the opposite side of the street anytime I saw them heading my way. my mom tried to get me to pose for a picture, but I would have none of it. I sweated profusely in the blistering july heat, my hands clenching at my sides, as a wave of cold and clammy unease washed over my body.
 

I never screamed or cried, but once my mother took me and a friend to Kings Island, a theme park in Mason, Ohio, and we went to a Flintstones show in Hanna Barbera land. At one point during the song and dance routine, Fred Flintstone asked for volunteers from the audience to come up on stage and help sing the song. every other child in my vicinity jumped out of his or her seat, ready to belt their hearts out, but I remained sullen and quiet, smashed against the faux plush of my seat. Fred Flintstone stepped off the stage and extended his hand toward me. I could think of no other way to escape. Do it, my mind whispered. Do it now.

 I reeled back in my seat and quickly and forcefully donkey-kicked Fred Flintstone with both of my feet in his oversized orange gut. The thud was hollow, and the theater was silent, aside from the snickers of a few older kids who thought that it was all part of the show. Fred Flintstone stumbled backward with a small “uff.” His sidekick, Barney, quickly scanned the audience for any more takers. Johnny and Suzie excitedly jumped up on stage and joined in on a song about sharing, while my mother grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the theater.

 I never abused another mascot or clown again. my terror fed my flight-or-fight response, and from then on, I chose flight.

Maybe it was due to the popular use of polka dots in clown costumes, but at some point I developed an irrational fear of clusters and holes clustered close together. I absolutely cannot stand looking at clusters or stalks. It’s closely related to my fear of birds and crowds, and maybe they just exacerbate each other in a constant state of disgust whenever I walk outside. The thought of many objects (such as feathers, or many birds flying clustered together in the sky, or seeds, crabs, honeycomb, lotus pods, pomegranates, holes in wood, stalks of corn, queen anne’s lace, pipes, eggs, stubble, aerial views of crowds, etc.) crowded symmetrically in a small space FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT. Looking at anything like that makes my skin crawl and I get an itchy feeling all over my entire body. Goose bumps will appear on my arms and legs, and I hate looking at those, too.

Zombie love.

With arms outstretched, I find
the last bits of flesh
Clutching to them, I trip forward--
Falling into sweat-soaked
euphoria, salt on my tongue.
I eat away at the innards, and trail
after the glorious cornstarch blood
and I lick the corners of your mouth
sucking sweetly
as though it were ice cream
(Of the brains-flavored kind)

Copyright 2010

Hi, you guys.

My name is Caitlin and welcome to Caitlinbear, the place where I tell you all about the things that I like and don't like.

I just moved from Tumblr (you can read my old blog here: http://www.caitlinbear.tumblr.com/).

Although it is very contrite, but mildly useful if you have no idea who I am, I'll let you know.

I live in with my dog Juno and I go to work, come home, and repeat. My dog is my best friend and my baby. She is a two-year-old Black Lab/Basenji mix. I love her more than anything in the world. I work in retail and I'm an on-again, off-again student, majoring in Mass Communication and Public Relations.  Right now I'm off-again until the spring. I'm 22 years old and I am still working on my bachelor's degree (no shame). Hopefully, I will graduate soon and I will be able to get a job as Toby Flenderson in someone's office somewhere. Or, I could get paid to sit at home and write my blog. I think I'd like that job better.

I enjoy savoring the tears of your unfathomable sadness. I have thick bangs, long, black hair, I'm tall, and I'm pretty awkward. My favorite things are: My puppy, coffee, pillows, my phone, my favorite boots, and cardigans. I enjoy Indian food, and I can't cook or make crafts, so I don't have an Etsy or a clothing line or anything cool like that. I just absorb things on the Internet like a soggy, disgusting sponge. I rarely go out, and I hate parties because I hate being around a lot of people at once. I'd rather stay home and drink, anyway, if I'm even going to drink at all. Other people's houses creep me out.

I like people who are good at grammar and who have a modicum of intelligence. I enjoy carrying on good conversations with other people, and I am fond of claiming that I was a fan of something "first."
Anyway, I originally started my blog as a project, to compile photos, essays, quotes, remarks, etc. into a book about things I like and don't like. Last year, I struggled with ideas for writing material, and one day, it hit me. I like talking about myself and my opinions, so I eventually decided that I should just write about that. I like and don't like a lot of things, and my opinions are always valid and you should agree with them.

At any rate, if you like what you read or see, stick around and I'll be updating more often, and quite frequently. Visit my other pages, too:

Juno's Daily Puppy profile: http://www.dailypuppy.com/profile/dog/52369
My YouTube: Caitlinandjuno

I'm so thrilled to be here!