I hate snow. snow is cold, and it sucks. I hate the cold, therefore I hate snow and by default, cold sucks. Skinny, weak nerds like myself should not have to live in cold climates. What pisses me off is when a lot of people are all like, "Oh, I like snow, it's pretty." YEAH, BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO TOUCH IT. Or walk in it. A lot of things look pretty, but then when you touch them or walk on them, it sucks ass.
When it's cold outside, and you still have to go to work and run errands because the whole world does not just shut down because it's cold (it really should), the cold stings your face and makes you wish that you could die on the spot. Cold is painful. Then the shitty ass ice gets all over the road and when I drive over it, the car freaks out. I can hear the argument in your mind as you are reading this:
"But Caitlin, you are so awesome that you don't even have to drive your car, you can just teleport everywhere or fly your plane, so why bother driving the magnum in winter weather?"
This is a valid argument, but obviously, there is nowhere to park my plane on campus. Wright-Patt gets pissed off at me if I park it on one of their landing strips illegally. And if I teleport anywhere in the wintertime, particles of my body might accidentally freeze or something and then I will end up looking like an idiot.
I also hate wearing fifty million layers of clothing. IT IS NOT CUTE. I refuse to wear UGG boots. I refuse to wear a puffy winter coat. It is totally not sexy. Normally, I prefer to wear a bathing suit and high heels everywhere I go, and you cannot do that in the wintertime, unless you want your boobs to freeze & break off. I really don't want my boobs to break off, because mine have done okay by me so far.
Anyway, spring weather needs to be here RIGHT NOW. If you don't agree with me, you need to check your chromosome count and put the UGG boots back in the closet.
Love,
Caitlin
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