Things I need: Anti-Valentine's Day Edition.

Ever since I was a kid, I hated Valentine's Day. It was always the worst holiday, worse than Easter. It mean that you had to buy a Valentine for the kid in your class who purposefully spilled chocolate Jell-O pudding on your new tennis shoes.


I would rather have all of the blood in my body drained and then pumped back into my body again than get tepid drug store chocolates or a cheesy card for Valentine's Day. Even when I had a boyfriend, I didn't celebrate it. I told every single one of my boyfriends up front to not expect anything for Valentine's Day and that I didn't expect or want any gifts either. And it wasn't in like a passive-aggressive way either, like, "Oh my god, I hate Valentine's Day SO MUCH so don't get me anything, but that REALLY means you need to get me diamond jewelry." It was in a, "if you get me a present for Valentine's Day, I'll kick you in the balls" kind of way.

Anyway, I'm not too keen on relationships or shitty Hallmark holidays right now anyway, so here is my Anti-Valentine's Day list of Things I Need: