I don't like being sick.

Normally, my genetically superior immune system does not become infiltrated by germs, but every once in a while I get a system overload and a tiny little germ will go skipping in all brazenly and cutely, and start a family in my bloodstream.

This time, it was a cold germ. A stupid, measly little cold germ. It managed to finangle its way into my body and now it won't leave. I think it thinks that it's here for good. For me, more than five seconds of cold symptoms is already way too long. It's only been like three days since I started feeling shitty, but that's already three days too long for me.

The worst part about having a cold is that you're never sick enough to just stay home from work for like, two weeks and not do anything, but you feel crappy enough that all of the crappy things that you already have to do on a regular basis. These things usually suck enough as it is when you aren't sick.

THINGS THAT ALREADY SUCK EVEN WHEN YOU AREN'T SICK:

-Falling asleep
-Breathing
-Eating
-Going to work
-Driving
-Listening to other people talking
-Being around other people
-Going out in the cold

THINGS THAT SUCK EVEN MORE WHEN YOU ARE SICK:

-Falling asleep
-Breathing
-Eating
-Going to work
-Driving
-Listening to other people talking
-Being around other people
-Going out in the cold
-Talking
-Existing
-Pretending to be interested in things that other people are doing
-Getting up off the couch to pee
-Getting up off the couch to take more medicine
-Getting up off the couch to make tea
-Realizing you don't have anymore tea and that it's too cold to go outside and go to the store and buy some more
-Sleeping on your back
-Sleeping on your side
-Eating anything with flavor
-Not being able to drink
-Not being able to turn my head without my ears popping off like Pop Rocks
-Having to take my dog outside every ten minutes so she can pretend like she has to pee or poop but really just wants to frolick in the snow and lick leaves
-Not being able to enjoy my favorite tobacco or caffiene products
-Sneezing every ten seconds
-Putting on makeup and/or doing my hair (no one to impress anyway!)
-Being forced to eat shitty food like soup and toast (and I actually enjoy soup and toast...when I'm NOT sick)
-Doing laundry because you are out of clean underwear
-Showering and ending up with snot everywhere for the next three hours

These are things that I hate when I am sick with a cold.

I forget what I was talking about before this. I blame the Robitussin.

Good night.