I'm talking about my new computer!
A word of warning: This blog will not be very well written, eloquent, or funny. I’m not even really trying my best, I’m just typing in sort of a stream of consciousness (or “pizza unconsciousness,” rather).
On a whim earlier tonight, and as a Christmas present to myself, I just bought a new HP Mini. It’s purple and it’s really cute. That’s obviously the MOST important part. I was just shopping around Best Buy and I took a look at an Asus Eee, but I didn’t like its screen. I was about to leave, and then this really nice girl who worked there comes up to me and is all, “Oh I have this new HP Mini that we just got in that you might like, and it’s like $20 cheaper than the one you’re looking at right now.” I have always had good experiences with HP laptops (mine lasted me six years until a hard-drive failure took it down, and that was even three years after I spilled green tea on it). So she went and got it for me, and it was love from then on. It has a great little keyboard with nice big buttons for my giant man hands and a nice screen. It’s definitely worth the price ($340 total) and it hasn’t crashed or fallen apart just yet. I’m amazed at what this little guy can do. It’s the perfect size, and I can take it pretty much anywhere I want.
The only problem is getting Internet set up. I have mobile web on my phone through Cincinnati Bell, and for a long time, I set up a modem through my phone service for it. However, I stupidly forgot that netbooks do not come with disc drives, so I am currently waiting on my ancient seven-year-old Toshiba hand-me-down to download my phone software onto a flash drive so I can load it on here and get the Internet going. Yay for tethering! And yay for being cheap! I am going to get Time Warner again here shortly so that I can actually USE my Netflix account. I started my free trial last month and then all of this bullsheeeit happened so I had to move AGAIN, and now I don’t have Internet access…well, on a consistent basis, anyway. It was pretty shitty. I get pretty cranky when I can’t enjoy my free trial of something because someone else is totally being an asshole. Thanks, you guys! I hope you’re happy that my free trial was totally wasted because of your shenanigans!
Anyway, this little guy is my Christmas present to myself. It’s nice to finally have money for stuff, I guess. I’m paying my phone bill tomorrow, and then I’m just going to hoard my money for the next two weeks until I get paid. It’s been great mooching off my mom and dad (thanks, you guys!) for food and stuff. I’ve been so used to having only like, $35 in my checking account most of the time that even just having a few hundred bucks in there now makes me feel rich. So aside from spending money on my new computer (which I feel was a good call) I haven’t really spent much money and I’ll be able to slowly start saving to move away. I’m hoping to save a bunch of money all winter and then take classes again either in the spring or the summer. This break from school has been wonderful so far, and it’s been nice to only have to worry about going to work. I can go out on a weeknight, I can come home and relax or do whatever I want without having to worry about homework. It’s a great feeling. I just can’t get too used to it. After a few more months, I’ll be ready to focus and to take a class again. I’m just not ready for it right now, especially with all of the shitty drama that’s happened in the last few weeks.
Anyway, not to go on a diatribe right now about how shitty/awesome my life is, but things are slowly looking up. I’ve got some really awesome friends and I’m making some new really good ones. I’m thankful to be me. I’m relatively attractive, I have a good job, a great family, and a great dog. I have a place to live and food to eat and things to do. I’ve been spending a lot of time writing lately, and it’s really helped me open my own mind up to the real possibilities of the world. I’m only 22, and I have my whole life ahead of me. It’s a great feeling, to know that I’ve got stuff to do and time to do it. I can really enjoy each day. I haven’t been sitting at home moping all the time, I’ve been out and about and living my life. I didn’t think it would be so easy.
I need to focus on myself, on saving money, eating better, and just living and breathing for a good while. It feels good to be able to breathe and to be able to see everything very poignantly and clearly. I don’t feel lost anymore. I feel focused and ready for the next thing. And as one of my good friends pointed out, things will come up months from now that will bring me back to square one for a while and I’ll have to get over it all over again, and that’s when my resolve matters the most.s
My plan is to save up my money and head out West before the fall. I can’t decide where—California, maybe, or New Mexico or something. I just need to get out of here and see the opposite end of the country. I need open space right now. I need to get out of here and clear my head. Just me and my dog. That’s how all the great stories start out, right?
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